Boyfriend is mad at me, not sure how to deal with it?

Yesterday, I kinda cut myself. I've been trying really hard to quit but last night he made me really upset (even longer story) and so I scratched some words into my skin with an embroidery needle. I didn't break the skin, it didn't bleed, and it was gone by the time I went to bed. I told him, but he was really tired. I mentioned it again today, but he forgot I told him. (I thought it was weird he wasn't saying anything about it...) He got really upset about it, calling me a liar, he wouldn't believe a word I told him... I called him later and he said he was really upset with me and he didn't want to talk. To my relief he told me he loved me when we got off the phone, but I'm still scared... Also, the whole ordeal has made me feel REALLY suicidal (I do suffer from depression, no medication) and I'm not sure if I can stand being away from him any longer but he turned his phone off and I'm currently not allowed to leave the house. Any advice? Thanks in advance.