Is age a factor or does it just depend on how experienced the guy is? or something else entirely?

I am 18 years old and a virgin. I intend to remain thus until I'm married. In conversation with my girlfriends we talk about sex and when they ask me why society has a double standard concerning men and women as it relates to sex i feel as though they're pointing at me which of course they're not it's just my conscience. lol. see I've heard these what i would call horror stories about how painful first time sexual encounters could be. one of then from an older woman i know whose first sexual experience with her virgin husband made her scream and other older women in my life. But then my cousin says when she lost hers at 21 it was perfectly wonderful and pain free. most of the older women in question lost theirs in their late twenties. My friend lost hers at 17 and she says the same thing. but both my cousin and friend did it with guys who were older and very much experienced. It seems to me its more painful the longer you wait or if the guy who takes it has little or no experience. So I'm not too happy about the idea of marrying a virgin. It probably sounds shallow especially since its not like I'll be perfect at it either but i don't really want to spend my wedding night screaming or hurt the guys ego. because i think i would just push him off. any thoughts?